Test: how Italian are you?

(Versione in Italiano alla fine del post)

Or also, how Italian is your man if a woman takes the test, which was kindly offered by the Times. Take the test and write your detailed answers as a comment and I'll post the answer that the Times' experts have done.

1. After lunch, does he drink

a) a cappuccino
b) a camomile tea
c) an espresso macchiato

2. When driving on the autostrada, does he

a) Bowl along in the middle, occasionally veering without warning into the overtaking lane
b) Edge tentatively into the slow lane and remain there unless absolutely necessary
c) Weave expertly through traffic, driving very close behind anyone doing less that 90mph in the fast lane and flashing his lights until they pull over

3. At what age did he leave home?

a) 18
b) 28 (but only after his mother put her foot down about the washing)
c) Hey, what’s the hurry?

4. Does he regard a scooter as

a) A bit infantile but nevertheless quite fun at weekends
b) A cheap and efficient way to avoid the London congestion charge
c) An instrument of extreme manliness, especially when revved excessively at traffic lights and with its exhaust modified so as to make an ear-splitting noise

5. How many man-bags does he own

a) One (and it’s more of a briefcase, really)
b) None. No way
c) 17 (and that’s just from his autumn/winter collection)

6. Does he wear his jumper
a) Over his shirt
b) Around his waist
c) Tied jauntily, at an angle, over his shoulders

7. How many cashmere items does he own?

a) A few, mostly presents from you
b) 325 (not counting the socks)
c) One, moth-eaten

8. What kind of pants does he wear?

a) Crumpled boxer shorts
b) Very tight, white Y-fronts, bought and lovingly ironed by his mother
c) Stylish designer ones

9. Does he wear a vest?

a) Only in the height of winter
b) All year round, including August (you can never be too careful)
c) As soon as the temperature drops below 10C

10. When skiing, does he

a) Launch himself out of helicopters, power through the powder and generally behave like a teenager on heat
b) Materialise, unsmiling in an all-in-one, at the top of the blackest mogul run he can find before descending, skis glued together, in a bum-wiggling display of prowess
c) Join the queue at the ski school and head out with a group of six-year-olds

11. On the beach, does he emerge from beneath his towel wearing

a) Sand-bleached surfer-dude shorts
b) Tight black Speedos
c) Slightly small and slightly elderly swimming trunks

12. At weekends, he helps out with the children by

a) Drafting in his mother (or, worse, his terrifying spinster sister)
b) Taking them for a pizza while you treat yourself to a nice massage
c) Remembering a very pressing business meeting that can take place only at the football stadium and is likely to last for at least four hours. Ciao . . .